


Long Overdue

by mansikka



Series: Long Overdue [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Feelings Realization, Frottage, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21704782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: Eddie realizes his feelings for Buck are more thanplatonic; what's he supposed to do now?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Long Overdue [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1568830
Comments: 46
Kudos: 564





	Long Overdue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ToughPaperRound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToughPaperRound/gifts).

> Hello, I'm very new here, don't mind me!
> 
> This is purely a gift for the ever-lovely ToughPaperRound ❤️

It starts with a look. A series of looks. Ones that aren't necessarily loaded yet still fill Eddie's gut with a particular heat. Then there are the touches, beginning with arms around shoulders or firm pats to his chest in passing at work, and continuing with hip checks in his kitchen, knees against thighs, and a sense that they are always pressed together, no matter where they are. And then there are the smiles, the ones that freeze Eddie's own on his face or steal the breath right out of his throat. He's been monitoring every one of these moments for months, bracing for the next one, a thrill of _something_ running up the length of his spine whenever Buck's anywhere near him. Of course, Eddie's never been great at timing, so he's already in the middle of wanting Buck before he figures any of this out.

It's a Sunday morning when he realizes. Buck is helping Christopher with dishes at the sink since Christopher insisted celebrating Buck's sleepover by having pancakes for breakfast. Buck's sleepovers have become a pretty regular thing. The only non-working weekend over the past four months Buck hasn't spent at least one night at Eddie's, was when Buck was away with Maddie for some family event. As Eddie watches Buck with his son, he realizes that feeling he'd had over that weekend without Buck had been him _missing_ him. It's enough to make him stand straight from where he's been leaning in the doorway watching them, holding on to the frame for support when all the other revelations start to creep in.

"Next weekend, we _can't_ have pancakes," Christopher says, carefully wiping a spill of syrup from the table with Buck hovering behind him but leaving Christopher to do his thing.

"Oh, yeah?" Buck asks, smiling at Eddie, which is of course like a sucker punch. "And why's that?"

"Because. We're having dinner instead."

Once again Buck looks to Eddie for an explanation. Eddie moves to keep busy, absently straightening up a chair as he avoids eye contact. "Abuela insisted we have lunch at hers next Sunday. You know how much she cooks."

"That's great."

Eddie knows that tone, quickly looking up for it. He sees the too-wide smile and bright eyes that say Buck is happy for them, and he is; Eddie knows it's a genuine smile. But there is also a wistfulness behind it. It's only a flicker, but even that still has Eddie stumbling in his fight not to race around the table to hug him.

"It is," Eddie agrees giving Buck a pointed look, "so _none_ of us get pancakes, okay? And maybe we'll hold back on one of sides we normally get with our pizza on Saturday. Keep some room. You know she's gonna feed us everything."

"She wants me there?" Buck asks, and honestly, it breaks Eddie's heart. How can this outgoing, sometimes over-confident man who is the life and soul of everything at any time, doubt that he's wanted. It's enough for Eddie to make it around the table to squeeze Buck's shoulder, arguing with his words to not come out in a stutter.

"Obviously. You're part of this family, now. Pretty much take it as read that you're invited _everywhere_."

Buck's answering smile knocks the strength from the backs of Eddie's knees sending him spinning away with far too much flair in his attempt to hide his struggle to keep upright. Christopher latches on to it, yelling his excitement for the start of their _dance party_ since _Dad's_ dancing. Of course Buck is already across the room turning the radio on and up, dancing his way back across the kitchen with abandon and stealing Eddie's heart. This is _stupid_. How can he be so affected and off-balance because of a _crush_?

* * *

Of course, now he's _realized_ how he feels, Eddie is even more aware of Buck everywhere he looks. It's as though he's tuned into him on his own special frequency; a glimpse of a retreating back across the firehouse; an awareness that it's _his_ silhouette he sees through the glass of a shower, which is when Eddie has to run away. Buck's smiles are bigger, it seems, and no matter who they're turned on Eddie is sure are meant for _him_. Which is ridiculous, and possessive, and Eddie thinks he's in way over his head. He catches himself getting lost in one of those smiles and drops the hose Chim's so carefully been rolling, earning himself a protest that rings in Eddie's reddened ears even as he stoops to roll it back up.

He and Buck, though, they still work in perfect tandem, having each other's backs when out on jobs knowing instinctively where each other is, or where they've going to move. So Eddie is thankful for that at least, that this crush hasn't messed with his head so much that he can't even stay focused on working with Buck. He decides the looks he gets from Hen, Chim, and even other members of the crew he doesn't get to spend as much time with aren't knowing ones, aren't earned when they've caught him lingering his gaze on Buck too long.

Buck is with him everywhere, even when he isn't. At the supermarket when he's shopping with Christopher and both of them spot things that are Buck's favorite food. On the radio in the car driving into work for picturing Buck's wild singing and dancing along to it. In the shower, obviously, as his name spills from his lips as Eddie spills over his own hand getting some _relief_ from all he's feeling. Eddie is in deep, and knows it, and doesn't know how to find his way out. He's not sure how to deal with any of it really, cursing himself repeatedly for crushing on a best friend. And a colleague. And possibly the most incredible man he thinks he's ever known.

Christopher loves him, which doesn't help things either. How amazing Buck is with his son puts thoughts in Eddie's head of a _real_ family, one he never quite managed to achieve with Shannon. The way the two of them slot together like Buck's been a part of Christopher's life for always hits Eddie often. He loses himself in fantasizing about one day not wrapping his arm around Christopher's shoulders as they watch Buck's car disappear from the drive at the end of a visit. About waking up in the morning to find Buck asleep on the pillow beside him. About their routine over breakfast on their weekends together being something that forms the start of every day of their lives. Which clues Eddie in to the fact that this isn't just some crush he can work out of his system. He _needs_ Buck, doesn't know how he'd ever live in a world without Buck in it. What if he messes this up and kisses him on the truck after a bad job without realizing he's doing it? What if he forgets himself and pulls Buck closer when Christopher's gone to bed and it's just the two of them on the couch?

Whenever Eddie toys with the idea of putting a distance between them in the futile hope it will lessen his feelings for Buck, it _hurts_ for the thought of being apart from him. How could he stop messaging him all day long when they're not working together? How would he ever cope if he tried to move to another crew? And Christopher would never forgive him if Eddie reduced the contact they had with Buck, Eddie knows that. Nor would he want to. It's just getting to the point when he doesn't quite trust himself alone with Buck.

Which is of course what happens when Eddie's defenses are down, when he's not slept well for _thinking_ about Buck, and Buck almost got hurt on a job. They're sooty, and sweaty, and hell knows the entire crew is in need of a shower as they stumble out of the firetruck. Eddie can't move, for his path being blocked by Buck.

"Hey. You okay?" Buck asks, his face filled with concern that both melts Eddie's heart and makes him want to scream and run in the opposite direction for knowing he has no resolve.

"Yeah. It was a tough one."

"Not a scratch though," Buck replies, then looks down at himself and turns out his arm. "Well. Apart from this."

"When did this happen?" Eddie asks, clasping Buck's arm and running his thumbs either side of a long scratch along his upper arm. It's not serious, but Eddie didn't even see it happen. What if it had been something far worse than a scratch.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

"But does it hurt?" Eddie asks, still clutching on to his arm as he looks up, which is his first mistake. Second really. Or third even, for stepping out _this_ side of the firetruck so it's just the two of them as the footfall of their crew fades away, and then touching Buck's arm without preparing himself.

Buck's eyes are piercing, their blue a color Eddie's sure is following him everywhere. His face is so earnest, so sincere when he looks back at Eddie telling him not to worry without saying a single word. Eddie finds himself stumbling closer, ungainly as Buck does the same with a tiny huff of surprise.

"No," Buck says, his voice sounding distant, "it doesn't hurt. It's fine."

Why can't he let go? Eddie's still gripping one hand around Buck's arm stroking a gentle circle into it, and Buck's eyes he's sure are getting wider as he stares back at him. He needs to leave, now, before he ruins everything between them and breaks his—and Christopher's—heart in the process, but Eddie can't get his legs to cooperate.

Buck knows something is happening. How wouldn't he notice; Eddie is sure his heart is loud enough for Buck to hear it hammering. Why isn't he pulling away? Can't he make it easier on Eddie, by breaking the spell, joking his way out of this closeness so Eddie doesn't even have the chance to do something he'll regret?

"Eddie?" Buck says, soft and uncertain, licking his lips as his eyes drop to Eddie's before he drags them back up.

Eddie is lost. He closes the gap between them and knows the feel of Buck's mouth on his own, breathing him in and shuddering at Buck's touch.

* * *

Eddie can't get close enough. He has one hand through the back of his hair keeping him near him with the other still stroking over his arm. Buck's hands are at his waist, careful, attentive, and he's kissing him back with equal enthusiasm. Though it doesn't stop Eddie pulling back in alarm, now terrified of what he's done.

"Buck, I'm—"

"Please don't take it back."

The crack in Buck's voice is accompanied by a firmer digging of his fingers in his waist, and an aching plead in his eyes. He's nervous, Eddie can see that, though he's also hopeful, the corners of his mouth curling up into a smile. He even leans against him firmer when Eddie can't make himself pull away.

"No?" Eddie asks, not daring to move, needing the confirmation before he does _anything_ at all.

"I've been wondering which one of us was gonna start this."

Eddie blinks, trying to untangle the sense in Buck's words. "You were?"

"I mean, I was _hoping_ I wasn't just imagining it," Buck adds, smiling for Eddie's obvious surprise.

"Really? Because I should've—"

Eddie closes his eyes, sagging as Buck kisses him, a little softer, a lot more exploratory, as though he intends to take his time. It's Bobby's booming voice from somewhere in the firehouse that pulls them apart, still clutching on to one another's arms.

"This probably shouldn't be happening here," Buck says, pulling back with what Eddie thinks is reluctance, an embarrassed hand up at the back of his head as he takes a deliberate step back.

"Uh, no. No, it shouldn't."

"I hope I didn't worry you out there? Just now, on the job?" Buck adds, his eyes flaring now. Does he think Eddie only kissed him out of fear?

"What? No. No—I mean, I _was_ worried, but I—_this_ has been a thing for me, for a while."

"Yeah?"

There he goes again, Eddie thinks, aching for this beautiful man before him. Buck being surprised at the thought of being important to someone. He itches to touch him again, but knows he shouldn't. Not here. Not yet.

"_Yes_."

"Well, good. _Great_. I'm happy that we can… am I still talking?" Buck says then, uncharacteristically flustered and just making Eddie fall for him all the more. He can't help how hard he smiles at him.

"Yeah. You are."

"_Damn_."

"We should probably talk about this, right?" Eddie says, because they need to move this along, and he needs to get his brain to think something other than _Buck_ on repeat. Even though all he wants to think about right now is Buck.

"Yeah, Eddie, we should," Buck agrees, casting a quick glance around them. They're at _work_, this is their _workplace_, they can't _do_ this here.

"So. Maybe come to mine after shift? Christopher's at school," Eddie adds, thinking that they might as well make use of working this overnight together. By the time they get to his, they'll still have hours before they leave to pick Christopher up. They'll have time to talk, and think, and—Eddie stops short of letting his thoughts wander further, clearing his throat because those thoughts have _already_ gone too far.

"Of course. We should do that. At yours. I'll come to—you know what I mean," Buck says, looking horrified as he trips over his own words, and Eddie decides a flustered Buck is the most adorable version of him he thinks he's ever seen.

He has to get away. Eddie doesn't trust himself not to kiss him again if he stays here even a moment longer. Though he does nudge against his arm for needing to touch him one more time. Eddie doesn't need to say anything for the smile Buck gives him back. He walks away, willing the time to fly through the next few hours, so he can be at home with Buck, alone.

* * *

Eddie paces his living room running his hands over his hair as he looks around the room for something to keep busy with. Buck is just seconds away, leaving the station not long after him after stopping to speak with Bobby. Which is something _they'_ll need to do, if what he hopes might happen between them really does happen. Which he _wants_, terrified again that he'll mess this up.

The front door flicks. Eddie's heart leaps into his throat. He turns quickly, seeing just as startled a look on Buck's face that he's sure he's wearing himself. Though this is _them_, this shouldn't be so difficult, should it? They're friends first, everything else second, and their friendship has weathered plenty of storms.

"I thought today would never end," Buck says, his eyes too flitting around the room as he walks towards him though doesn't reach out.

"Yeah. Me too."

"I don't even know what I _did_ for the last few hours."

Eddie begins to relax, laughing. "No. Me neither."

"I just want you to know, that you, and Christopher, you mean _everything_ to me," Buck adds as he turns abruptly bringing them face to face. "I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize anything for either of you. It's why I didn't—why I didn't just… you know."

Eddie does, more than Buck probably understands. Though seeing Buck's nerves settles his own a little, making Eddie brave enough to reach out and take his hand. Buck allows himself to be tugged closer, his eyes giving one final glance over his face with a look that's filled with heat. Eddie swallows hard for it, now convinced he can hear _Buck's_ heart thumping as he leans in for a kiss.

Buck is perfect, pressed up against him molding his mouth over his own, his hands everywhere as he tries to touch all of Eddie at once. Eddie gets his hand back into his hair splaying his free one over his ass to pull them flush together, groaning for the flick of tongue against his own. He knows the back of the couch hits the back of his legs though doesn't know how he ends up sitting. Though Eddie is _very_ aware of Buck straddling his lap, pausing to stare at him in what he's sure is wonder before Buck is diving in to kiss him again.

Buck's thighs are firm beneath his palms as he slides his hands up them, and when Eddie runs his thumb up his length through his jeans the groan that falls from Buck's lips is indecent. Eddie claws at his t-shirt to get it off, half their clothes scattered over the living room floor in seconds. Eddie has _no_ recollection of how they got as naked as they are already, but is _very_ aware of Buck's fingers now wrapping around his cock.

"_Fuck_."

Eddie wrenches his mouth away from Buck's letting his head fall back for the surge of pleasure already racing through him. Anyone would think he's been thinking about Buck's hand on him for months...

Buck snorts with laughter, gesturing for Eddie to kiss him, smiling against his mouth before letting him pull back to watch. Eddie indulges in watching his cock slip through Buck's fingers before leisurely taking him in hand as well, savoring the firm hardness in his grip and the way Buck arches for his touch.

"You know how _long_ I've been waiting to do this?" Buck asks, his tone blissful and his pupils blown when he looks at him. Eddie thinks he does, panting against Buck's mouth for the pleasure continuing to build in him. To think he's been worried all this time that this was all one-sided. The way Buck thrusts into his hand for more tells Eddie everything he needs to know.

"You think maybe we can finish this in bed?" Eddie asks, knowing they're not going to last long whatever they do, but wanting Buck between his legs anyway.

"Anything you want."

"I think I _have_ everything I want," Eddie replies, indulging in sweeping his hands up Buck's chest promising himself hours to explore every inch of him. They can take their time now for finally getting here. Buck's smile is bashful, another new look on him for Eddie to catalog. There are going to be so many of them, he knows there will.

Buck stands, pulling Eddie to his feet, where they indulge in more kisses before stripping out of the rest of their clothes. Eddie slots his hand through Buck's and leads him to the bedroom, quickly flicking back his comforter and tugging Buck with him. He splays his legs wide once on his back, whimpering for the sight of Buck crawling between them.

Buck strokes his hands first up Eddie's splayed thighs, and then over his chest, pausing to wrap his fingers around him for a brief stroke. He then angles himself taking them both in his grip, groaning as they thrust into it before dropping forward and beginning to grind them together. Eddie groans for it, dropping his head to the side for Buck's kisses at his throat, sweeping his hands up his arms before looping them around Buck's back as he settles on his forearms.

Buck feels even better than anything he's been fantasizing about, the two of them thick and leaking together as they move, his kisses filled with all the need and want Eddie's been trying to keep to himself for months.

"Just so you know. I'm gonna need _hours_ to do this properly," Buck groans out, mouthing at his neck as he gives a stir of his hips that is nothing but sinful.

"_This_ isn't properly?"

"_This_ is me knowing I'm gonna last five seconds for wanting to get my hands on you for so long."

Eddie grins, rolling his hips up to meet him and laughing when their attempts to kiss fail for their groans.

The judder of Bucks hips against him when he comes is one of the most erotic things Eddie thinks he's been witness to, studying the arch of Buck's throat as he throws his head back. Buck groans, dropping a thankful kiss into his neck when he falls forward before brushing their mouths together, resting his forehead against Eddie's for a beat before lifting up enough to get his hand between them.

Eddie shudders as Buck closes his fingers around him using his own come to slicken his grip. Buck's eyes never leave his, and Eddie feels no need to snatch his gaze away, keeping eye contact as his orgasm hits and sagging in blissful relief as he spills over Buck's hand.

"Better?" Buck teases before nuzzling at his cheek, humming against his neck as though pleased with himself. Which he has every right to be. Eddie is _boneless_. And they've barely even got started.

There are kisses to follow, along with a half-hearted attempt to wipe them both down, before Buck falls on to the bed beside him and pulls Eddie close like he doesn't intend to let him go again. Which Eddie doesn't mind, can find no objection to. They have much to think about, and plenty of things they'll need to discuss. But right now all Eddie can focus on is the warmth of an arm slung over his side, and beautiful, sleepy blue eyes blinking back at him across the pillows as he and Buck succumb to sleep.


End file.
